Surviving the Holidays- Disability Edition

The Holiday Season is a time of magic— the decorations, lights, music, food, gatherings, people, and presents. The novelty of the season provides a break in our routine during the darkest days of the year. The challenge is what is meant to be bright, merry, and fun in this season also creates obstacles and challenges resulting in stress and isolation for people with disabilities. Being aware of the unique challenges the holidays create for people in our community allows us to have an awareness to adapt, accommodate, or at least understand why this time of the year might be hard. This is just meant to be a broad overview of common challenges so please remember that each individual has their own specific access needs, and it is always best to ask the person. For our purposes here, I will categorize the challenges into three basic groups that are intersectional: Safety, Schedule, and Sensory.

Safety

Dark winters along with our cold, wet climate is a well-known challenge affecting moods, which is why our culture is drawn to counter it with festive cheer. However, the dark and wet is also a specific safety hazard for people with disabilities. Electric wheelchairs don’t function well in the rain. Mobility struggles increase slip hazards, and the increased traffic creates extra safety challenges for foot traffic, increased by sensory, cognitive, or mobility limitations. Add to that flashing Christmas lights and decorations obstructing the view and/or path and getting around is downright dangerous. Inside obstructions cause blockades for people who use mobility devices and room rearrangements are disorienting and crash hazards for those who are blind or partially sighted.

Schedule

From Christmas break to recitals to the umpteenth party- what my neurodivergent-self calls my VOE (Very Ordered Existence)- is disrupted during the holiday season. Schedules and routines are important ways many create a semblance of security. When those routines are disrupted, the world can feel scary, unmanageable, and create dysregulation. Also, formal supports serve as the only relationships and community. Both ACCESS and caregiver supports are unreliable during the holidays. Work and schools shut down, and it’s common for community members with disabilities who are usually connected through formal supports to find themselves alone and struggling during the holidays.

Sensory

Too LOUD, too BRIGHT, too SMELLY, too FLASHY… Christmas time can be just too MUCH! Neurodivergent people or others with sensory disabilities (vision or hearing) can really struggle in these over-sensory environments. For some, the response is meltdowns or other forms of outward-acting coping strategies. Others ‘mask’ the discomfort, enduring the festivities and crashing when they get home. Another coping strategy for both the individual and those who provide support is to avoid the sensory overload—staying home and isolating.

You might have noticed a trend. Safety, Schedule, and Sensory challenges can all lead to isolation and loneliness. Considering Bridge Disabilities mission is “ending isolation among people with disabilities” I believe it’s important to consider ways to support our valued community members during this time. For safety, evaluate your environment as you set it up. Consider offering rides even if the individual is typically independent on ACCESS or public transit. Call or visit events ahead of time to make sure it is accessible. For schedule, creating a clear plan for the holiday break, using social stories, and creating some type of routine can be helpful. Letting someone know who will be at the family event, how long you will stay, and if there a quiet room they can retreat to can really help. Seeking out low sensory events (ie. the Woodland Park Zoo has low sensory nights for Wild Lanterns), accessible performance nights with ASL interpreters or audio description, and finding quieter, less crowded times are good choices. But be aware that sometimes the best choice is to move the festivities home where things can be controlled. Also, take care to be aware of those who might not have family- call them, send funny memes, bring them cookies, or invite them over. Nobody should feel alone and forgotten during the holidays.

For you who are disabled and struggling out there—I see you. You deserve kindness and compassion from yourself and others. Advocate for your needs, reach out, and find ways to make the holidays work for you. You are not alone.

About the Author: Jessica Thompson became disabled as a young adult and has worked for accessibility and inclusion specifically in third places for over 20 years. Coming to the Episcopal Church after experiencing religious trauma from “faith healing,” Jessica feels called to break down barriers, both physical as well as spiritual by addressing the harmful theologies and behaviors that have shown disabled people that “we are not welcome as the Beloved People God created us to be.” She is blogger, speaker, and consultant for Bridge Disability Ministries.

Categorised in: Journey with Jessica